Grandpa

GrandBea and Grandpa on their wedding day. September 21, 1946.

The memories come back to you in little pieces
Like when you blink after the camera flashes and that moment is documented forever.
A Polaroid snapshot, instant gratification.

A couple of weeks ago, when I heard that my maternal grandfather was in his final days, the slide show of memories began. Set to the chimes and wheel spin noise of the Wheel of Fortune game.
A favorite television show of John Caskey Sr. He'd sit in his designated armchair, pipe in hand, big aviator eye glasses perched on his nose, watching in earnest as each contestant bought a vowel.

Click. Blink. Memory.


"Rudolph! Rudolph!" The grandchildren would shout and point out the sliding glass door at my grandparent's house in Naples, FL. It's Christmas Eve and everyone is together. We are standing on piles of discarding wrapping paper and shirt boxes. According to the blinking red lights on the local TV tower, Rudolph was headed straight towards us.


Wearing a pair of my grandfather's too big and perfectly worn out Wrangler jeans, I stuck my hand deep into another blackberry bush. The North Carolina mountain breeze feels good across my cheeks. I look over and smile at Grandpa when he tells me that that if I pick enough blackberries, GrandBea will make cobbler. Thorns? What thorns?

Turtle. The man was trying to feed me turtle. My smart mouth had gotten me in trouble again, only this time Grandpa was around. I had made an ungrateful comment about dinner and suddenly found myself sandwiched between the fridge and Grandpa, a piece of white turtle meat being thrust in my direction. I had no choice but to eat it. So I did. Then Grandpa walked off laughing, calling over his shoulder that it was, in fact, turkey and that would teach me to try something new from now on.

"Ashley, can you entertain Grandpa for me while I get this stuff ready?" Famous last words from my mother. Grandpa, well, frankly, he's just like me. We don't sit still well. We have to be doing something. When he used to come visit us growing up, I'd walk into the kitchen only to find the door on the fridge had been switched to open in the opposite direction. Why? Well, because Grandpa needed something to do - that's why. So on Black Friday in 2008, when my mom asked me to entertain my Grandpa I had no idea what exactly to do with him. But he knew.  In less than 4 hours when everyone else is back home from scouring the mall and Target for deals, I have found myself the owner of a new car. That's right, a car. I already had a car, but now I had a new one - that he picked out, that I make all the payments on, just because my mother told me to entertain him.

During that same Thanksgiving weekend he also called me out to his car demanding that he had brought me something I "kept asking for". Grandpa was known to give me weird home good items or knick knacks he and my grandmother no longer wanted. I braced myself for another home security system. Grandpa leaned into the car and popped back out, thrusting a garment bag in my hand. "What's this?" "What you've been asking for, damn it" and he walked back into the house. Nervously, I pulled down the zipper of the garment bag to discover his complete World War II naval uniform. I looked at my mom, eyes filled with tears and tried to give her the uniform. It was her dad's after all. She wouldn't take it, "he obviously wanted you to have it."

Lastly, a dance. My, that man loved to dance. Whether on roller skates in competitions with his wife or just on his two feet, he was a dancing machine. I took every opportunity I had to dance with him; Big Band music in the background with a little Frank Sinatra blended in. From my brother's wedding there is quintessential Ashley & Grandpa picture, we are hand in hand on the dance floor swaying to the music. He's looking forward smiling and my head is thrown back, mouth wide open, mid laugh. I am sure he just told me to let him lead...damn it.

Click. Blink. Memory.

So this is for your Grandpa, my gruff on the outside, sweet on the inside, friend. May you have lasting peace driving your beloved Pontiac in Heaven and I will have many Early Times and 7UP cocktails in your honor down here. Oh, and with your powers combined with God's, I imagine your life long wish for me "to get a boyfriend and get married already" won't be too far off.

Love Always,
Ashley