Let's Talk About: Tax Time

this is not my neighborhood representative. but i wish it was. major creeper.

Ugh, there she is again. That weird dancing Statue of Liberty girl.
How does someone go about getting that job, anyway?
Do they just walk into Liberty Tax and say "Yo. I know it's tax time, so obviously that means you're looking to hire someone to stand on the corner and really shake it. I can do that for you."?
Or is it more likely that the poor unfortunate soul is the manager's daughter who is doing this as a form of punishment for missing curfew or getting caught skipping school?

I have no idea, but I cannot stop staring at her.

My Lady Liberty happens to work the corner (that seems wrong) by my office building. So anytime I leave there she is; waving, smiling and every once in a while taking it low. I am dead serious. I've actually been honked at because I almost missed the light when she dropped it to the sidewalk.

So this all got me thinking...if this gyrating American icon is supposed to get me inspired to come in and have my taxes done, don't you think there should be some kind of dance off? Like a nationwide contest where all the high schoolers sucked into being tax season's official mascot danced for a prize?

I would love that. Although, I am pretty sure I'd choose the office who's Statue of Liberty had the most awkward moves as opposed to the best. Awkward always trumps normal.

But since one specific company already has all my information stored for the last few years, I think I'll stick with them. In the meantime, I might just sit across the street from Liberty and call out dance moves for her to try.

Running Man!
Cabbage Patch!
MC Hammer!

Awkward.

Seen any good moves lately from your local Statue of Liberty?

I Made a List, Then I Ignored It

What is it about making a list and crossing things off that is so satisfying to some people? 

Argh! Who’s laughing now, task? You just got owned by this Bic pen; straight line across your face. Sometimes, I get creative and put a check mark next to the task. But never an “X’. That’s two lines and that = too much effort.

Since I am a huge fan of lists (packing lists, grocery lists, chore lists, to-do list at work, what to judge my date on lists), I made a great big one for my 29^th birthday. Perhaps you noticed. It had insane things on their like baking bread and planting tulips.  And I am here to tell you that I accomplished a whopping 40% of them.

(Confetti shoots out of cannons and into the air.)

So I didn’t finish them all. Not even the bread or tulips. (I know, right?) And while it gives me mild anxiety to admit it and see goals that are not crossed out, I decided to breathe into a brown paper bag and move on. Although, the ultra competitive side of me wants to see how many tasks I can complete in the week and a day before I turn th…thir…thirt…30.

Am I being a weirdo about turning 30? Of course, I am. I’m the kid who cried in the upper (and much cooler) bunk bed on the eve of my 10^th birthday because I wasn’t quite ready to turn “double digits.” Fact. I can’t make this up. 

 But just like a kid playing hide and seek - ready or not, here it comes. I don't have a grand list to present to you that later I may or may not accomplish. I learned my lesson.  I'd like to keep the following goals to myself:

World Domination.

In the meantime, I hear it's almost beer 30. Save me a seat! (Tap, Tap)

All I Want for Christmas is Organization

What?
You do, too?
Well then you're in luck because I know just the person to help you out.

Lea Schneider with Organize Right Now.com Trust me when I say, girl is goooooood. She's been interviewed in national publications such as Women's Day magazine, Family Circle magazine, The Washington Post, Homestyle Magazine, The Denver Post and so many many more! She is a proven expert in her field.

So without further ado, I give you the perfect gift to de-stress your loved one that doesn't involve a stranger rubbing them with hot oil.  Organize Online gift certificates! They are crazy affordable ($25)!

closet before

closet after

1. What inspired you to become and Professional Organizer and help others? I love the ah-ha moment when people realize that things in their life can be so much simpler. Getting organized lets you do the things you really want to do.

2. What sets Organize Right Now apart from organizing competitors? You are matched with your own professional organizer who works personally with you and your organizing project. This isn’t a pre-set, one-size fits all mass-mailed program. Your organizer hears your story and learns about your home and gives you very personal advice.

3. If you could organize with one celebrity, who would it be and why? Easy! It would be Paula Dean. She seems so warm and genuine. She makes me laugh and she would most definitely laugh at herself and her clutter. (Not saying she has any!) Besides, we could eat something afterwards!

4. What is the most unique item you've found organizing? Jewelry made from human hair, which is apparently an expensive collectable from the Civil War ear. Who knew?


5. What exactly is online organizing? It seems like you would need a professional to be in your home and hands on to get organized. With the Organize Online program, you DO get a professional in your  home only we arrive via phone, email, share digital pictures or even talk live with Skype. You get one-on-one professional organizer expertise for your issue. We tell you where to start, what to do next, what to let go of and how to store the rest. You provide the hands-on part.

6. Why are gift certificates for organization the perfect Christmas gift? And how do you recommend people give this to a loved one without hurting their feelings? I’d love to sell more and more gift certificates but not at the expense of hurting anyone’s feelings! So, only give a gift certificate to someone who has told you that they wish they were more organized. Perhaps they’ve said “I’ve just got to do something to this closet. It is driving me nuts!”  Organize Online gift certificates are the perfect gift because they are the opposite of clutter and taste better than fruitcake.

7. What can kind of results can a person expect to get while working with your team? As much as we’d like to help you do everything at one time, it isn’t humanly possible. We are organizers- not Bewitched. So, we’ve broken “Get Organized!” into small sections like closets, kids, paperwork, kitchens and so forth. After we’ve heard about your space, you’ll get a step-by-step to-do list so that you can accomplish your goal one step at a time. It is pretty much like the old saying “How do you eat an elephant?” The answer is one bite at time- and in my case, with soy sauce and chopsticks.

8. Briefly tell me a success story that will inspire others to take the step and change their lives.

Sometimes, we think the task before us is impossible. Take the case of one of my Organize Online clients. Did I mention that you can live anywhere? This client lives in Kansas City, MO and I helped her from my office in Pensacola, FL. Here’s the organizing dilemma they had: Take one newlywed couple and put them in a 750 square foot apartment where they have signed a lease. Even if the lease could be broken, they couldn’t afford anything larger due to the husband being in school. Add to this the exciting news that they are expecting a baby. Where do you put a baby in a teeny-tiny apartment of newlyweds? Baby’s are small but they come with a huge amount of stuff! Using Organize Online services, I worked with them to find space. They measured the rooms and furniture and provided me with the measurements along with answering questions about their needs. I drew plans of the rooms and rearranged everything and managed to carve out a small baby nursery. Here is what the client said:

"The other night, after we got our rearranging accomplished, my husband and I were looking around and he asked if I thought we would've come up with this design on our own. I said "No Way!" He responded, "Well, hats off to Lea Schneider!" Lea, you really have a gift for this and I think you are doing exactly what you are meant to do. Thank you for making it stress-free for us to simply and beautifully transform our little condo in order to welcome our new baby (and all its stuff) into our home!"



These gift certificates fit any Christmas budget.
Ready to purchase your gift certificates? Click here!!

And while you're there don't forget to sign up for the newsletter and check out her books for you busy mom's and dad's. 

For Troy

For the guy who graduated from the same alma-mater as David Lettermen, I give you my Top 10 reasons why I have an awesome brother...

circa 1985

10. He has no problem jumping in a freezing cold pool the day after Thanksgiving, just because.
9. He initiates quality family time like playing board games, going to the park and zoo, and placing bets on big football weekends.
8. He's incredibly driven and his work ethic inspires me to do better and work harder.
7. He made family road trips fun (and sometimes painful) by creating a well known character called Pillowhead who would tell your fortune, give a recipe or get violent. You choose.
6. He sends crazy homemade birthday cards that include pictures of the 1980's Chip N' Dale male dancers and a bus stop full of awkward kids.
5. Because he let me be his shadow as a kid, he guided me towards my love of sports.

he took me skiing for my first time in 2009

 4. He's the type of guy who keeps his word. Getting up for a 5 mile race after no sleep, just so I wouldn't have to run alone.
3. He's by far one of the funniest guys I know.
2. He's an amazing husband and dad to two little girls and never ever complains.
1. No matter what, I know he'll always be there to give me advice, include me in all activities, put me in a headlock or prank call me over and over again.

Happy Birthday, Troy!

Pilgrims and Indians

I absolutely adore Thanksgiving.
It's actually my second favorite holiday.
And I could really wax poetic about all the wonderful things about the holiday where eating yourself into a food como is a time honored tradition.
But I won't.
(You're welcome.)

I thought this time around, I'd let my friends do the talking and showing.
Because they can do it a lot better than I.

Jennifer over at Where's My Thesaurus couldn't have said it any better about our day to give thanks. And check out her picture from Nordstrom's. Thanks Nordy, I feel exactly the same way. Check it out here!

Then there is my group of friends who love a good challenge.
They thrive on taking the typical, the normal and making the complete opposite.
The most perfect example was when they were invited to an average Thanksgiving dinner with friends, they took matters into their own hands and made it a costume party.

I give you Pilgrims and Indians.

Christy and Sarah. Representing the true meaning of Thanksgiving.

Whether you watch the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade, eat ham instead of turkey, run a Turkey Trot, don't care what football game is on, make it a costume party or do everything completely normal...

I wish you a Happy Thanksgiving!

Oh, San Fran. I Love You, So.

You know that little nervous anxiety that you get when your about to see a friend you haven't spoken to in a long time? The tiny hum of electricity that makes you wonder if the conversation will be strained or easy and if the person will look the same?

Well, for me and San Francisco (my city-friend) it wasn't like that at all. It had been nine years since I'd been to the City by the Bay and I wasn't the slightest bit nervous. I knew I'd arrive and feel like I had never left.

It all started off with that little event called the Nike Women's Half Marathon.

At the Start. 6:30am. Our teeth are so white!

After a couple of hours of running by Fisherman's Warf, the Golden Gate bridge, oh and tackling mile 6, we finished and were promptly handed Tiffany's necklaces in place of medals.

Jenny, Christy, Elise and I holding our reward for 13.1 sweaty miles!

After all that ridiculous running was over, it was time for the good stuff. Leading us off were tall glasses of watermelon wheat beer and 21st Amendment. So delicious!

Nothing cures tired muscles after a long race like a cold beer!

After drinking the cramps right out of our legs, we took ourselves to the opening scene of Full House. The Golden Gate Bridge of course! 

Total tourists!

We hit up Chinatown.

 

And took a ferry out to see the wonder that is Alcatraz. 

The Rock. 

At Fisherman's Warf, we chowed down at the Crab House and had pint sized mojitos before going to check out the famous sea lions. 

so cute. i wanted to kiss their noses.

We ate tons of great food, navigated the bus system like professionals, visited Haight & Ashbury where the smell of marijuana lets you know you've arrived and even mingled nightly with the locals who loitered right outside our non-air conditioned hotel which just happened to be situated exactly on the corner of the street that separated the good part of SF and the, well, shadier bits.

Until next time San Francisco, I leave you a piece of my heart again!

North vs South

"You're like a Northerner." she said and laughed.
"What does that even mean?" I replied eyes wide as I leaned over the wall that connected our cubicals. "No, seriously. Why do you think that I am Northern?"

Northern. The word came off my tongue awkwardly.
You could almost feel the hills of Tennessee buckle under the accusation.

"Well, hmmm." Katie held her coffee cup in her hands, trying to form her response in a perfectly public relations manner. She titled her head, "You're straight shooting, loud and animated...but of course I love you for it."

I paused for a moment, waiting for the Augusta, GA native in her cowgirl boats, dress and scarf to wrap it all up with the most offensive of terms, "bless your heart."

But she didn't. She probably thought it, though. I should ask.

It's not that I am completely offended by being coined a Northerner. We all know my love for the great state of New Jersey and that my Dad's side of the family is *cough* Northern. What I really wonder is how does a girl born in Florida and raised in Tennessee qualify as a Northerner? Both states fall underneath the Mason-Dixon line.

Clearly, to my dear friend Katie (bless her heart), your personality and mannerisms are not defined by your geographic location, but more by your attitude. She casually tosses aside the fact that I absolutely love country music, grew up surrounded by cotton fields, chose as an adult to live on not 1 but 2 farms with various animals, always always chose fried okra as my side vegetable when given the option, actually enjoy cooking and baking and could drink sweet tea non-stop everyday for the rest of my life. I guess none of these count. I do have highlighted blonde hair, but can never make it big enough to touch heaven so I guess that's a strike as well.

I surmise that when you boil it all down, my big mouth and flailing arms throw me, country music and all, into the Northerner pile. Perhaps, I should get everything I owned monogrammed and start really loving SEC football and biting my tongue.

So if I'm not Southern. Who is? Could I be considered a form of an Arnold Palmer drink? Half lemonade, half tea. Half Southern (my mama is from Kentucky, y'all), half Northern.

Tell me, how does someone qualify as Southern or Northerner in your book? I need to know. Apparently, I have a lot of homework to do.